They say fools rush in where angels fear to tread. I don’t know who “they” are but I’m pretty sure they were visiting India.
As for me, I have returned.
Perhaps that’s a bit over the top dramatic but for an American Germophobe it’s tantamount to saying that I feel stranded behind enemy lines with no means of extraction for the next several days. Hiding out as I am now in my hotel room, even now the enemy is afoot. Or a-wing, if you will. There are enough insects of unusual size (IOUS's) flouting about on the other side of my thin barrier of suspiciously unclean glass I’ll generously call a window to evoke memories of watching Stephen King’s The Mist movie rendition.
Indeed, having not left the hotel room since I arrived, I am even now fully camouflaged with “100% max” super-deet insect repellant. So much so that I found I was leaving greasy footprints on the wood floor of the room and my wrists keep sticking to the laptop. Yuck, but I feel a bit comforted that to the mosquito scouts I must look like Pigpen from those old Snoopy cartoons.
And for those that believe I’m being too dramatic about it all, you can see that my grave is already being dug, right here out my window.
Ok, so how did I get here? No sense in talking about my purpose in being here (casual business as I told the Indian customs officer). Instead I suspect folks are more interested in the trek. The joy is in the journey, as they say. Again, the proverbial “they.” I bet they were in Hawaii when they said that.
The flights are long (~7 hours from Washington to Frankfurt, 5 hours there, then 8.5 hours Frankfurt to Bangalore). Not much more to say about it – other than that being an exceptionally long time to be in a sealed can of stale air getting staler with each germy exhalation from the cattle crammed into the plane. And the farts. Let’s not forget about those, as much as I wish we could. Each waft that envelops me makes me think that the only way I can tell that there is such a waft is that dicraposulfphuric oxide molecules (that’s the scientific name for these molecules) came out of someone’s unholy orifice and are now attaching themselves to my nasal passages, throat and lungs. When I die, I’m quite certain it will be from Brown Lung disease, similar to Black Lung that coal miners get.
But I digress.
Let’s focus on the essentials of my saga. Read on...
As for me, I have returned.
Perhaps that’s a bit over the top dramatic but for an American Germophobe it’s tantamount to saying that I feel stranded behind enemy lines with no means of extraction for the next several days. Hiding out as I am now in my hotel room, even now the enemy is afoot. Or a-wing, if you will. There are enough insects of unusual size (IOUS's) flouting about on the other side of my thin barrier of suspiciously unclean glass I’ll generously call a window to evoke memories of watching Stephen King’s The Mist movie rendition.
 |
| It was EXACTLY like this. |
And for those that believe I’m being too dramatic about it all, you can see that my grave is already being dug, right here out my window.
Ok, so how did I get here? No sense in talking about my purpose in being here (casual business as I told the Indian customs officer). Instead I suspect folks are more interested in the trek. The joy is in the journey, as they say. Again, the proverbial “they.” I bet they were in Hawaii when they said that.
The flights are long (~7 hours from Washington to Frankfurt, 5 hours there, then 8.5 hours Frankfurt to Bangalore). Not much more to say about it – other than that being an exceptionally long time to be in a sealed can of stale air getting staler with each germy exhalation from the cattle crammed into the plane. And the farts. Let’s not forget about those, as much as I wish we could. Each waft that envelops me makes me think that the only way I can tell that there is such a waft is that dicraposulfphuric oxide molecules (that’s the scientific name for these molecules) came out of someone’s unholy orifice and are now attaching themselves to my nasal passages, throat and lungs. When I die, I’m quite certain it will be from Brown Lung disease, similar to Black Lung that coal miners get.
But I digress.
Let’s focus on the essentials of my saga. Read on...
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