LEAVING SHANGHAI

Sunday was a day “of rest” wherein I read my book, caught up on this blog, did some email and other work, napped and ate the most western variations of food I could find on the menu at the hotel restaurant.  I did not in any way even come close to setting foot outside of the hotel or having to interact with people, human or otherwise.

Monday is my day of departure, and as such I checked out of the room @ noon after a morning of packing and catching up on email and the like, then sat my American butt down in the business center of the hotel to enjoy some more work catch-up before my taxi arrived to take me to the mag-lev train.

Interestingly, and again I probably could have gotten a picture of this but there were extenuating circumstances (as in I was afraid they’d notice and question me about it), mere minutes after sitting down in the empty business center there was a ruckus in the hallway.  The business center is separated from this hallway by a glass wall so I can see out (and those there can see in), other than the entry way which is guarded by a rather stern looking Chinese lady who tests the worthiness of all who might wish to enter with questions like “what is your room number.”

This ruckus grew quickly to a cacophony the likes of which can only be spelled correctly with a spell checker.  A significantly large mob of people were passing through this hall on their way to the lobby.

Now “significantly large mob” in America might mean something like 50 or 100 people.  That would be a lot of people pushing their way through a hotel hallway into the lobby.  Maybe 200-250 coming from a wedding or conference happening in some off-to-the-side meeting hall.

This procession of humanity built quickly to a steady flow and impressed me with its constancy so much so that I decided I’d try and start timing how many people seemed to be passing by every second.  I averaged it out to 5-8 people per second.  Since I did not expect this stampede in the first place I did not note its start time but after a couple of minutes I started checking the clock.  All in all I can confidently say this literal raging river of raucous rabble-rousers lasted at least 10 minutes, possibly as much as 15.  Do the math and that puts this surging mass of Typhoid Marys at a count of 3,000, maybe as many as 7,000 people.  I kid you not.  I mean I really, REALLY am not exaggerating.

Don't give me that look.  I'm talking true, man.

It was like the hotel became possessed and started a long, drawn-out, high-volume projectile vomit of humanity.

All the while I’m here in my business center “cave” with the glass walls being more and more distracted, watching the never-ending parade go by.  I can see the envy in their eyes as they look in and notice me, sitting in a large room, all by myself, with lots of comfy chairs and sofas and more than enough peace and quiet and serenity for one person to righteously wield.  But they are without free will, pushed along in the inevitable flow of time and the progress of the herd, unable to do anything more than stare longingly in at the zoo exhibit that is me.

I so wanted to start swinging on the light fixtures and fling a turd or two.

To bring the story to a close… the taxi driver was supposed to pick me up at 1:30.  At 12:25 he comes in with one of the hotel staff and it is the same guy who picked me up from the airport with the “Hamilton, Scott ” sign.  This time he is holding a sign which says “Scott Hamilton.”  He seems proud to have gotten the correct information this time but confused as to why I did not spot him out in the lobby.

It might have been that he was early.  Early and waiting in the middle of a measurable % of the population of China all loitering around in the lobby.

Regardless, we get my bags and hop in the car and start beeping our way through the crowds that have leaked out of the lobby and into the front of the hotel.

Chinese folk do not seem to respect the dangers of encroaching vehicular manslaughter.  Even when said predator begins to lean on the horn and inch forward, at best we would get someone to acknowledge the car with a stare that in the universal language of scorn and derision communicated displeasure at our mere existence, and at worst, folks would not even turn to see the source of the insistent bleating horn and sidle off a few inches to one side or the other as if the mere suggestion that they get completely out of the way was an affront to their royal dignity.

I had no idea this was a convention of Descendants of the Chinese Emperors.

Jumping ahead… The maglev is pretty neat.  The tracks are of course not like normal train tracks and look like it would not contain a train moving at any speed.  And yet this sucker can go pretty fast.  During the hours I was riding it the top speed was capped for reasons not explained at a mere 300kph.  That’s ~186mph.  The ride is not as smooth as I expected – the high speed RAIL train we had taken months ago from London to Paris was pretty fast (maybe as fast) but much smoother.

Shouldn't we be worried if the only thing preventing this thing from leaving the tracks is a momentary loss of electricity?

This is the cheapest seat I could buy - not too shabby.

Nonetheless, it is pretty dern fast.  It takes about 30-40 minutes by car to go from my hotel to the airport, and while the maglev station is a 5 minute ride from the hotel, presumably in the direction of the airport, the train ride took about 7 minutes.

In case you can't read that, it says 297kph.  Our top speed that day was 301kph.

Of course I had to wait about 15 minutes for the train to arrive, so while it didn't necessarily save me a ton of time, it was pretty neat.  Plus I got to see this thing while waiting for the train.

You tell me what this is.

My theory is that if you fall on to the tracks this thing spins into action and incinerates you with death rays so you can't cause any damage to the train.  Those maglev trains can't be cheap, you know.

Or so one would hope.